Walking Between Worlds: Episode VII

A summary from the podcast Walking Between Worlds. Listen now from your favorite podcast app.

What is the Divide?

Guests: Mark Hedinger, Executive Director at CultureBound and Karen Hedinger, Language Acquisition Trainer.

The division of people between different cultures is based upon differences in the patterns of life between two people groups. All humans have the same needs but have creative ways to find how to meet those needs. For example, everybody needs to eat, but one group came up with chopsticks, and another invented forks and yet another put a piece of meat between two pieces of bread so you can eat it with your hands. There are all these creative ways of fulfilling these same fundamental realities. Culture is a given set of patterns that a people group get so used to, that it seems to be the only right way of doing it. It becomes something intuitive. It becomes something that we don't think about. Why would we need to think about these things? Everybody does it. As long as you are in the same group of people who share the same patterns, then it's all good.

But at some point, you realize there's another group of people with another set of patterns, and they go about things differently.

So now what happens? If either group has a right and wrong mentality, meaning that if you don't do things my way you're wrong, then you have conflict. You have one of those groups saying that's not the right way of doing things. You have to do it this way. That's conflictive.

The other alternative is to see that one group has a way of doing things, and they recognize the other group has a way of doing the same things but differently. That's fine. There can be diversity over the way of doing things. But over the centuries of life, most people have their patterns and are isolated from other groups and can't understand another way of doing things. As a result, conflict arises out of stress points between people groups. "Our" way of doing it is so intuitive that "their" way, which is different, must be wrong.

Culture has many parts that can be included in intuitive patterns. For example, religion can be so deeply ingrained the structure of a society and the subconscious mind of a people that it can become sacred, and any contrary opinion is met with hostility. Another might be the value of the colors. One culture might value red while another values blue so much that only special people can wear that color. If someone enters that culture wearing the "sacred" color, the people of that culture react to what seems "wrong." That can cause deep conflict.

Cultural conflict goes beyond the patterns of people and moves into where those patterns come from. Those patterns are coming out of values, out of expressions of what's true for those folks. What is that basis from which they say something is true or good? When thinking of the word, value, think of the word evaluate. To evaluate is to say something is good, and something is bad. That's an expression of values. Cultures have values and norms, which people in that culture would say should be regularly done. There are things that a people group might say are true, which in their minds means right. Those values tend to be invisible. They are worked out in religious forms and other parts of culture. If those things come in conflict and there is a clash with another group of people, then it's not just a matter of being creative and trying different things. It changes to be an attitude of "this is wrong," and "we must correct you."

Many of these cultural patterns are intuitive.

Even the beliefs and values are unconscious and intuitive. When a person encounters another group of people whose intuitive beliefs, way of doing things, or values are different a lot of times, there is conflict based upon intuitive reactions, sometimes without there being perceived difference at first. The reaction is visceral and is faster than the conscious realization of why the conflict is taking place. CultureBound teaches that when someone is crossing into another cultural context, they should suspend judgment. It needs to be practiced, even though reactions towards something that seems wrong can still take place. Allow the brain time to catch up with the reaction before acting. It is possible that the action or idea is truly wrong, but as a reaction, it is often difficult to distinguish between something wrong and a violation of cultural norms. But even when examining the rights and wrongs laid out in the Bible, there are different ways to act on the good and bad depending on what culture. It looks different in different places. It leaves open the possibility that there is more for an outsider to learn about a specific people group and how they live out right and wrong.

When one or both groups have a "right/wrong" feeling about a practice or idea, it can be helpful to suspend judgment long enough to examine the issue — taking the time to discover if it is wrong according to our standards (or even the standards of the group), not just a difference in culture. The best way to bring change to that issue is to work together with the other culture to bring in alternative ways to do or think about the issue. Even in those situations where there truly is right and wrong, it is an opportunity to point out there are legitimate alternatives available. It is possible to bring light into the scenario. An example of this would be Jesus in the Gospels when he encounters wrong. He often would find another way to do something. Rarely was he confrontational. Sometimes we can be so set on our "right" and "wrong" and feel like we have to go battle about these issues instead of realizing people have a different way of looking at the situation. How can I bring truth into their sphere? For example, as a missionary going into another culture, it should not be the goal to tell people how to do something but to meet them where they're at. The Apostle Paul did that all the time throughout his missionary journeys. When building relationships across cultures, it is not about bringing yourself there and imposing your thought patterns upon people. You should be going out of your way to finding out where people are coming from and then meeting them there. True change cannot be forced from one culture upon another. The value of this practice is walking together with others who are different from each other. It is even possible to learn from each other and adopt cultural elements that could be of benefit.

People choose to fight because of many reasons.

In terms of what CultureBound teaches, we recognize that all human cultures are fallen. The sin nature and selfishness of humanity figures into the decision of actions or ideas that are wrong or even evil. We often believe that it's just easier to do things one way, "my" way rather than do things "your" way. I may not even like you. Sometimes the conflict is because it's just easier to require or demand that things be done the way we're used to instead of shifting our mindset and saying we can do this in a mutually agreeable way. That takes a lot of energy and a lot of effort.

The other side of cultural conflict is cultural balance, mentioned in podcast #6 with Lauren Wells, which is when two people groups can function side by side with little to no difficulties. A cultural imbalance is when two people groups feel like they can't go about their normal patterns when the other culture is present. They feel like if they are together in the same place and one group is following their patterns and another group is following their patterns, then the groups feel that they can't be true to their people, to their ways, their patterns. That becomes the sticking point. The answer to that is the word empathy. It is the ability to look at the other group of people and ask if it is possible to fit in their position, seeing their perspective. It is possible to understand why they are doing something that seems alien to another people group. There are many environmental, historical, linguistical elements that can affect why people groups differ. Attempt to empathize cognitively and attempt to share on an emotional level. It is possible to share on a visceral level to understand why they do what they do. This can allow for a path where both groups are acting harmoniously. This takes a lot of time, talking, and hearing.

Figuring out a cultural conflict is not a solo problem. It's at least a two-way street. You've got to have both people as a part of that. In a best-case scenario, lots of people on both sides.

In this first season of the podcast, it seems that putting yourself in the place of discomfort for the sake of relationships keeps on popping up. CultureBound is big into discomfort, and we're really into relationships; we believe they are worth the discomfort. As you develop empathy and invest in those relationships, and get to know people better, understand not only cognitively better where they're coming from, but also an emotional and behavioral level. The longer you are in another culture, conquering differences starts to become intuitive. You can still be true to yourself and still intuitively understand the people in that new culture while keeping an intuitive understanding of your own culture. This would be the idea of unity rather than merely coexisting with and within another culture.

In a Christian community within this subject, it is important to ask questions like, what do we do with the truth that Jesus is the only way? This is a place where we believe there is no room for two ideas. Jesus died for my sins, and that is the way of salvation. There is no other god before Him. He, the Father, Son, and Spirit ARE God, and there is no other. While this is not a popular opinion in the world today, it is not an opinion that we are willing to compromise on or look at from some other perspective. That doesn't mean I have to go out and start a war with everybody. I can understand that other people are going to look at that differently. Our job is to ask what we can bring into relationships that are going to be as winsome as possible. We can build bridges and bring people in a way that does't giving up on what we see as truth, or what the Bible and the history of Christianity would consider the truth. As we seek to stand for the truth, we must also seek to build bridges to people who may not have the same understanding of our truth.

The resistance to understanding others comes from fear of loss of self, fear of different ways of thinking, fear of confusion, or of making mistakes. Other times its simple ignorance. If someone doesn't think the same, what's wrong with them? However, the possibility of building relationships cross-culturally gives the opportunity of being creative and trying different ways of managing issues that we've never thought of. Having the attitude of a learner, being open to new ways of thinking, is key to making this adaptation to another culture.

A question for our readers.

What's the thing that you do, or are accustomed to doing, that is there because you've always done it that way?

What is the activity that can be done differently to improve interactions or communication with the people around you?

What is Walking Between Worlds?

Walking Between Worlds is a podcast hosted by CultureBound. CultureBound is a training organization that specializes in Culture and Language. This podcast focuses on the secrets of culture to enrich our interactions with others. The topics covered relate to culture and building connections with people across cultural differences, specifically as it relates to American culture in a world that is globalizing. Walking Between Worlds is about how to navigate relationships in a cross-cultural context. This is a sneak peek into the material that CultureBound covers. We also have premium content and training on our website CultureBound.org that you can take today!