Walking Between Worlds: Episode IX

A summary from the podcast Walking Between Worlds. Listen now from your favorite podcast app.

Different Isn't Bad

Guest: Natalie Kim

All cultures have their differences. Often, hearing of cultural distinctives people can assume different is wrong. This podcast seeks to unravel the idea of cultural differences as always being negative. Cultural differences doesn't mean one culture is wrong, nor does it imply that one culture is superior to another. Different isn't wrong. Different is different. However, too often, cultural differences can be viewed negatively. The phrase, "You are so different" can be perceived as an attack. For some reason, "different" often has negative connotations.

Different cultural patterns can be challenging because it is not the preferred, expected or accepted pattern of one's own culture. This can imply that one way is wrong, and another way is right. Cultural differences can be perceived as a challenge to the way a culture conducts itself or an implication of better ways to do culture. If we just focus on cultural differences, then intercultural communication and developing relationships across cultures becomes challenging. From there, taking the time to understand people from different cultures ceases. In working cross-culturally, one usually looks for similarities in the face of differences. This is not a usual human reaction and must be learned through training.

The natural tendency for many people to put others in categories can be one of the sources of focusing on differences. When we encounter someone for the first time, we start analyzing them, culturizing them, based upon past experiences, differences, and unique elements of who they are.

We create a stereotype in our mind or rely upon already constructed categories of different types of humans, placing them into these boxes.

Humans rely upon assumptions and previous experience with people from similar countries, cultures, or regions to classify new people. It is natural for people to start differentiating different kinds of people. It is how we distinguish traits, tendencies, patterns, and expectations about other people. It is challenging to process every human we ever encounter, so categorizing is a shortcut to knowing different people in a faster manner than having to dredge up all the specific data about everyone we ever encounter. It is a mechanism for being able to relate to someone new to us. Stereotyping is a form of shortcut classifying, drawing out obvious distinct points of classification to make connections and to wrap our minds around.

Stereotyping, or classifying, is not necessarily bad or evil. When stereotyping and classifying are used to create negative thoughts or actions against other people based upon those boxes and stereotypes. There is an opinion that all stereotypes are inherently evil or wrong. Stereotypes are blamed for a lot of negative ideas, words, and actions. However, categorizing a natural part of how human beings function. It is a starting point of relating to others. If it were possible to remove stereotype thinking, categorizing, from humans, social structures, relationships, and creating social connections would be complicated. We can see this with those on the Autism Disorder Spectrum. Many of these people suffer from the inability to create social connections and categorize innately. All social structures, behaviors, and new relational connections must be learned by wrote rather than learned intuitively. With many people of the Spectrum, social relationships are challenging and rarely, if ever, instinctive. Without the ability to stereotype or create generalized categories relating to new people is difficult at best.

Everyone wants a sense of belonging.

When differences are pointed out, it can lead to doubt of being a part of society, or their place in society in the other person. There can be a hurdle to social connections. Humans are social beings, relational beings. We try to find a connection with others. If we think that we are different or is somebody talks that way to us, then it is usually perceived as negative. There are social rewards to be a part of a group and belonging, maybe even being the same as everybody around us, as opposed to being different. There's not the same level of trust necessarily.

The culture of the USA is extremely individualistic. Scholars like Geert Hofstede and Robert Bellah give ample data that the culture of the US may be one of the, if not the, highest individualistic cultures that has ever existed. Western media historically has glorified the lone hero, the rebel with a cause; the do it yourself hero. The levels of individualism seen in much of Western society, especially the US, can be unhealthy, leading to loneliness, depression, lack of belonging, or isolation. Yet even in the US, belonging is important. Relationships and a place in society are necessary for a fulfilled life and a healthy existence. Humans cannot exist on their own. Even God is a triune God that has a relationship within the Trinity. As humans are made in God's image, so too are we relational beings. Humans need relationships to survive.

Many humans will conform to the group to have a place in the group. Individual opinions, actions, and attitudes can be cast aside to fit within the group, to be a part of the group so that there can be belonging. For example, the Solomon Asch Conformity Experiment, conducted at Swarthmore College in 1951, placed a real participant in a group with confederates. In the experiment. In a line comparison task, comparing three lines with a separate line, each participant had to state which line was the same as the separate line. The confederates all answered incorrectly. 75% of the time, the real participant answered incorrectly at least once. When questioned after the experiment, most of the participants knew their answers were incorrect but went along with the confederates to avoid being ridiculed or ostracized.

Differences are still important.

Maintaining differences, even if there are social consequences, can be difficult. However, people vary even within the same culture. Differences still exist, from national differences to individual uniqueness. Small differences, like between family members, are often overlooked or generally accepted as the nature of being individuals. Everyone has a unique combination of cultural backgrounds. When that is accepted, it often makes it easier to approach people who are different. Once differences have been recognized, the question becomes, should people move forward and find common grounds, unity in diversity, or let the differences between people divide them?

Differences can often lead to discomfort and hesitation to reach out. It is not always cognitive. It can also be effective, emotions, or a desire not to be left out of the group. Differences can leave some feeling attacked or left out. While these differences might feel like "an atrocity," it many times can be a result of deep culture, core values, being nudged. Core values are deep presupposition that few are consciously aware of. These deep values are formed early in a child's life and comprise the fabric of a person's world; they are rarely questioned. When they are questioned, it feels like a personal attack, yet they are so deep the reaction is mostly intuitive that something is wrong or a feeling of discomfort. The challenge in dealing with different people is that every culture has a unique set of core values and unconscious presuppositions. When different cultures come in contact with one another, the core differences can and do often lead to a clash. It just "feels" wrong.

Even challenging the idea that there are different foundational values between cultures can lead to negative reactions. If there isn't one right way of doing something, then the feeling of stability is removed, and cultural ambiguity can lead to visceral reactions, often directed to the individual or the group that represents the challenge to stability.

What is Walking Between Worlds?

Walking Between Worlds is a podcast hosted by CultureBound. CultureBound is a training organization that specializes in Culture and Language. This podcast focuses on the secrets of culture to enrich our interactions with others. The topics covered relate to culture and building connections with people across cultural differences, specifically as it relates to American culture in a world that is globalizing. Walking Between Worlds is about how to navigate relationships in a cross-cultural context. This is a sneak peek into the material that CultureBound covers. We also have premium content and training on our website CultureBound.org that you can take today!